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| CATCH THE LION |
| 04.17.08 (11:23 pm) [edit] |
1. Newton's Method:
Let, the lion catch you.
For every action there is equal and opposite
& amp; nbsp; reaction.
Implies you caught lion .
2. Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the
lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will
also run faster
& amp; nbsp; and
will get tired soon.
Now you can trap it easily.
3. Schrodinger Method:
At any given moment, there is a positive
probability that lion to
be
in
the cage.
So set the trap, sit down and wait
4. Inverse Transformation Method
We place a spherical cage in the forest and
enter it.
Perform an inverse transformation with respect
to lion.
Lion is in and we are out.
5. Thermodynamic Procedure:
We construct a semi-permeable membrane which
& amp; nbsp; allows every thing
& amp; nbsp; to
pass
& amp; nbsp; it except lions.
Then sweep the entire forest with it.
6. Integration Differention Method:
Integrate the forest over the entire area. The
lion is some where
in
the
result.
So differentiate the result PARTIALLY w.r.t lion
to trace out the lion.
7. The Banta's Method:
DON'T EVEN TRY. YOU'LL GET CAUGHT BY THE LION.
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| made me think... |
| 04.17.08 (11:22 pm) [edit] |
Thoughts.....
Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind .
You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future!
Love...and you shall be loved.
God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him.
All people smile in the same language.
Everyone needs to be loved... especially when they do not deserve it.
The real measure of a man's wealth is what he has invested in eternity.
Laughter is God's sunshine.
Everyone has beauty but not everyone sees it.
It's important for parents to live the same things they teach.
Thank God for what you have, TRUST GOD for what you need.
If you fill your heart with regrets of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow, you have no today to be thankful for.
Man looks at outward appearance but the God looks within.
The choice you make today
will usually affect tomorrow.
Take time to laugh, for it is the music of the soul.
Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.
Love is strengthened by working through conflicts together.
Harsh words break no bones but they do break hearts.
To get out of a difficulty, one usually must go through it.
We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for.
Love is the only thing that can be divided without being diminished.
Happiness is enhanced by others but does not depend upon others.
For every minute you are angry with someone, you lose 60 seconds of happiness that you can never get back.
Do what you can, for who you can, with what you have, and where you are.
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| why God allows pain |
| 04.15.08 (10:20 pm) [edit] |
his is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and suffering that I have seen...
A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.
As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.
They talked about so many things and various subjects.
When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said:
"I don't believe that God exists."
"Why do you say that?" asked the customer. "Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist.
Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people?
Would there be abandoned children?
If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain.
I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things."
The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument.
The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.
Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard.
He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber:
"You know what? Barbers do not exist."
"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber.
"I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"
"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because
if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."
"Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people do not come to me."
"Exactly!" affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist!
That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him for help.
That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."
BE BLESSED & BE A BLESSING TO OTHERS !!!!!!!
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| This Special Feeling ... |
| 04.15.08 (10:17 pm) [edit] |
Just as you pass by me,
I can’t help but be filled w/ glee!
At last! I saw you today!
Surely, you complete my day!
Why can’t I explain?
This and all that I’m feeling
I can’t help thinking of you…
You’re the reason my heart had more “Lub dub” beat too!
Everywhere I go,
Every little thing you do,
Every time you’re around too,
Without a doubt I always notice you…
They say it’s a childish crush,
Some say its fondness,
While others think I’m infatuated,
But certainly, you are the reason, why I am bothered!
I may not know what I feel,
But I know this was real,
Overwhelmed by my feelings,
I won’t go seek for meanings!
For I know you’re much more different,
Falling for you, they say I have myself to prevent,
I don’t know where this feeling could lead,
Have to save this heart, before it truly bleeds…
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| IT companies full names |
| 04.14.08 (9:52 pm) [edit] |
1. NIIT: Not Interested in IT
2. WIPRO: Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output
3. HCL: Hidden Costs & Losses
4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions
5. INFOSYS : Infinitely Offline Systems
6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping
7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds
8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines
9. SATYAM: Sad and Tired Yelling Away Madly
10. PARAM: Puzzled and Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors
11. C-DOT : Coffee during Office Timings
12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible
13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort
14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers
15. BFL : Brainwash first and Let them go
17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.
18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India
19. ORACLE: On-line Romance And Chatting
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| Just for u Guys |
| 04.14.08 (9:47 pm) [edit] |
Now solve these, but after you regain from the hanover ...................
* Railroad Crossing, look out for the cars. Can you spell that, without any R's?
* What's black and white and red all over?
* What has four wheels and flies?
* What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
* What has a foot on each side and one in the middle?
* Play my music, if you dare. Turn my crank, although I'm square.
Stand back, or get a scare, when you see my surprising glare.
What am I?
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| Bicoastal Blondes Night Out |
| 04.10.08 (6:45 am) [edit] |
Meanwhile back in LA Paris Hilton hit the town with "Hottie and the Nottie" co-star Christine Lakin, who donned her full "Nottie" costume. After dinner at Katsuya the two headed over to the S Bar.
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| Britney Spears On Laxatives And Speed? |
| 04.10.08 (6:43 am) [edit] |
TMZ reports more bizarre Britney behavior from inside UCLA Medical Center.
"Britney said she was on Adderall, a stimulant used to treat Attention Deficit Disorder, and was taking up to ten laxatives a day. Side note -- cameras caught Spears a few days ago picking up a bagful of laxatives.
We're also told, when she was admitted, Britney accused her mom of "sleeping with my boyfriend." She wasn't specific on who she was referring to.
We're also told that for a time she was hurling profanities at her parents and staff."
TMZ
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| zodiac traits .... The way people apologise |
| 04.07.08 (11:00 pm) [edit] |
The way people apologise and their style of saying
sorry depends a lot on their personality and zodiac traits. No
wonder Leos embarrass you when they say sorry while Arians
will actually annoy you with their apology?..
Aries: For starters, Arians think they are so sweet,
they could not have possibly said or done things that need an
apology. So in the unlikely possibility of them actually going
down their knees to apologise, it will be a simple sorry.
Nothing less, nothing more.
Taurus: They are so scared to face others when they
make a mistake that by the time they resurface to tender an
apology, the damage is done. So Taureans end up making foes out
of friends because of their laxity in apologizing.
Gemini: Geminis think they are infallible and
therefore will never really apologise for anything. But once
they realize, they prefer to act as if nothing happened, and behave
normally with people who have a problem rather than remind
others of the incident by tendering an apology.
Cancer: Cancerians will make you feel sorry for
demanding one when they make a mistake. They are the legendary
characters that burn hands and slash their fingers! in order
to display the quantum of their repentance. Their repentance is
dangerous.
Leo: Leos are a delightful bunch even when they are
trying to make up for their follies. They will go down their
knees, buy flowers, put up sorry posters.. do everything colorful to
flatter you and make up for their mistakes. In fact it's fun to
induce them to make a mistake and let them apologize for it.
Virgo: Virgos will first formally set aside a time and
date and inform them what they want to tell you. Then they
will mentally prepare themselves to talk out the same
things. They will finally draft the script and read out
whatever they want to. In short, even their heartfelt apologies sound
like well-drafted scripts.
Libra: They are very vocal once they realize their
folly. They never ever hesitate to come clean and admit their
mistakes. In fact, they will go out of their way to convince
you about how genuinely sorry they are.
Scorpio: Scorpios are formal and think that tendering
an apology is more of a formality. So instead of just
saying sorry, they will send a formal mail or send a card,
whatever it takes to avoid direct confrontation.
Sagittarius: Sagittarians don't believe in being sorry
or apologizing. For them, it is human to err and
therefore saying sorry is just redundant. Interestingly, even if others
make mistakes, they are pretty cool and don't expect much
from them.
Capricorn: They can't take a simple sorry. They need reasons,
explanations, written letters and the works to get elicit an
'ok, you may go now' phrase. They are hard to please and even harder
to appease.
Aquarius: They are sweet, genuine and innovative when
they think they are wrong and need to undo the damage.
Aquarians are easy on their mistakes and don't take too much time to do
their sorrying.
Pisces: Pisceans don't easily give in because they
believe that everything is about perspective. So if somebody
thinks they made a mistake! , it's because they have a wonky
perspective. Pisceans and apologies? No chance!!!
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| You Break My Heart |
| 04.07.08 (10:58 pm) [edit] |
I used to not believe in love,
I used to say it didn't exist
But the truth of my heart is that I love you more
with every laugh, with every kiss
I hoped and dreamed you'd feel the same
but you played with my love like it was a game
My life is now a broken soul,
but I still can't find the strength to let you go
I gave you my love but it wasn't enough,
You took my heart and crumpled it up
with every cute your name appears,
i drop the knife and drown in my tears
you make me laugh, you make me cry,
you make me unable to move on with my life
you ripped me apart, my heart is cracked,
but in the end to your arms I run back
But now I know I have to let you go,
to set you free, so you can't fully destroy me
I'll always love you, you know it's true,
but I can't take this anymore,
i'm done,
i'm through..
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| The Italian Gril |
| 04.07.08 (10:50 pm) [edit] |
 A woman goes to Italy to attend a two week, company training session.
Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers, "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"
The husband laughs and says, "An Italian girl!!!"
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks, "So, honey, how the trip was?"
"Very good, thank you."
"And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?" She asked.
"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!" "Oh, that" she said "Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait for few months to see if it is a girl!!!"
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| Now ....Married troops can live together in Iraq. |
| 04.03.08 (2:56 am) [edit] |
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When American soldiers get off duty in Iraq, the men usually return to their quarters, the women to theirs. But staff sergeant Marvin Frazier gets to go back to a small trailer with two pushed-together single beds that he shares with his wife.
In a historic but little-noticed change in policy, the army is allowing scores of husband-and-wife soldiers to live and sleep together in the war zone - a move aimed at preserving marriages, boosting morale and perhaps bolstering re-enlistment rates at a time when the military is struggling to fill its ranks five years into the fighting. 
Long-standing army rules barred soldiers of the opposite sex from sharing sleeping quarters in war zones. Even married troops lived only in all-male or all-female quarters and had no private living space. But in May 2006, army commanders in Iraq, with little fanfare, decided that it is in the military's interest to promote wedded bliss.
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| Light at the end of the tunnel.....!!!!! |
| 04.03.08 (2:55 am) [edit] |
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No matter what situations life throws at you... no matter how long and treacherous your journey may seem... Remember, there is a light at the end of the tunnel
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!  You're laughing aren't you? That's good .......my job here is done !
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| Heart touching story |
| 04.01.08 (9:49 pm) [edit] |
The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the driver and, using her hands to feel the location of the seats, walked down the aisle and found the seat he'd told her was empty. Then she's settled in, placed her briefcase on her lap and rested her cane against her leg.
It had been a year since Susan became blind. Due to a medical misdiagnosis she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness, anger, frustration and self-pity. 'How could this have happened to me?' she would plead, her heart knotted with anger. But no matter how much she cried or ranted or prayed, she knew the painful truth, her sight was never going to return. A cloud of depression hung over Susan's once optimistic spirit. All she had to cling to was her husband Mark.
Mark was an Air Force officer and he loved Susan with all his heart. When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was determined to help his wife gain the strength she needed to become independent again.
Finally, Susan felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She used to take the bus, but was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. Mark volunteered to drive her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city. At first, this comforted Susan and fulfilled Mark's need to protect his sightless wife who was so insecure about performing the slightest task. Soon, however Mark realized that this arrangement wasn't working - it was hectic, and costly.
Susan is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to himself. But just the thought of mentioning it to her made him cringe. She was still so fragile, so angry. How would she react? Just as Mark predicted, Susan was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again. "I'm blind!" she responded bitterly. "How am I supposed to know where I'm going? I feel like you're abandoning me."
Mark's heart broke but he knew what had to be done. He promised Susan that each day he would ride the bus with her until she got the hang of it.
And that is exactly what happened. For two solid weeks, Mark, military uniform and all, accompanied Susan to and from work each day. He taught her how to rely on her other senses to determine where she was and how to adapt to her new environment. He helped her befriend the bus drivers who could watch out for her, and save her a seat. Each morning they made the journey together, and Mark would take a cab back to his office.
Although this routine was even more costly and exhausting than the previous one, Mark knew it was only a matter of time before Susan would be able to ride the bus on her own. Finally, Susan decided that she was ready to try the trip on her own. Monday morning arrived, and before she left, she threw her arms around Mark, her temporary bus riding companion, her husband, and her best friend. Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty, his patience, his love. She said good-bye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.... Each day on her own went perfectly, and Susan had never felt better.
On Friday morning, Susan took the bus to work as usual. As she was paying for her fare to exit the bus, the driver said, "Boy, I sure envy you." Susan wasn't sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all, who on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the courage to live for the past year? "Why do you envy me?"
The driver responded, "It must feel so good to be taken care of and protected like you are." Susan had no idea what the driver was talking about, "What do you mean?" The driver said, "You know, every morning for the past week, a fine looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you when you get off the bus. He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches you until you enter your office building. Then he blows you a kiss, gives you a little salute and walks away. You are one lucky lady."
Tears of happiness poured down Susan's cheeks. For although she couldn't see him, she had always felt Mark's presence. She was blessed, so blessed, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she didn't need to see to believe - the gift of love that can bring light where there had been darkness.
"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her..."
So if you love someone be faithful to that person.
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| What's a girl to do? |
| 04.01.08 (9:44 pm) [edit] |
I think most folks that cross paths with my blog know that I utterly adore Hot Stud. He'd be the perfect man for me, if it weren't for that whole thing he has with monogamy. (and I'm unwilling to 'bend' on that issue.)
So I've deliberately squashed any sort of 'suggestions' he's made at being 'more than friends'. As incredibly sexy and appealing as I find him, I'd be barking up the heartbreak tree. Can't fit a square peg into a round hole, nor can you make a guy want to be monogamous.
He asked me the other day why I went to N.O. - I told him that I wanted to get away. He said that I should have called him. (I got the impression that he thought I went to visit my friend down there for more intimate reasons if you catch my drift.)
Then he went on to say that he had been wanting to spend some time with me (alluding to the less-clothed kind) but he knew I had been going through a lot with the cats dying, etc.
I am not the casual fling type. It just doesn't do it for me. And adding to it someone that I have feelings for, well, that's just darn stupid to do.
So, the million-dollar question is... what do I say to him? I don't want to make him feel weird - I don't think saying that I have feelings for you and I can't go down that road with you would not be good for me. But what other alternative do I have? I'm not going to 'hook up' with him. It's hard enough as it is to keep my feelings in check.
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| Salty Love Story [Touching] |
| 04.01.08 (9:43 pm) [edit] |
 - A Sweet Salty Touching Love story -
He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised.
They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me go home. suddenly he asked the waiter: "would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee."
Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but, still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously : why you have this hobby? He replied: "when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea ,just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my home town, I miss my home town so much, I miss my parents who are still living there". While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched.
That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her far away hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story.
They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him!Thanks to his salty coffee!
Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life...
And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked it. After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said:" My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt it was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication!
I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything.. Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste..But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again". Her tears made the letter totally wet.
Someday, someone asked her: what's the taste of salty coffee? It's sweet. She replied.
Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.
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| 10 facts about dreams |
| 03.31.08 (12:15 am) [edit] |
10. Blind People Dream
People who become blind after birth can see images in their dreams. People who are born blind do not see any images, but have dreams equally vivid involving their other senses of sound, smell, touch and emotion. It is hard for a seeing person to imagine, but the body’s need for sleep is so strong that it is able to handle virtually all physical situations to make it happen.
9. You Forget 90% of your Dreams
Within 5 minutes of waking, half of your dream if forgotten. Within 10, 90% is gone. The famous poet, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, woke one morning having had a fantastic dream (likely opium induced) - he put pen to paper and began to describe his “vision in a dream” in what has become one of English’s most famous poems: Kubla Khan. Part way through (54 lines in fact) he was interrupted by a “Person from Porlock“. Coleridge returned to his poem but could not remember the rest of his dream. The poem was never completed.
8. Everybody Dreams
Every human being dreams (except in cases of extreme psychological disorder) but men and women have different dreams and different physical reactions. Men tend to dream more about other men, while women tend to dream equally about men and women. In addition, both men and women experience sexually related physical reactions to their dreams regardless of whether the dream is sexual in nature; males experience erections and females experience increased vaginal blood flow.
7. Dreams Prevent Psychosis
In a recent sleep study, students who were awakened at the beginning of each dream, but still allowed their 8 hours of sleep, all experienced difficulty in concentration, irritability, hallucinations, and signs of psychosis after only 3 days. When finally allowed their REM sleep the student’s brains made up for lost time by greatly increasing the percentage of sleep spent in the REM stage. [Source]
6. We Only Dream of What We Know
Our dreams are frequently full of strangers who play out certain parts - did you know that your mind is not inventing those faces - they are real faces of real people that you have seen during your life but may not know or remember? The evil killer in your latest dream may be the guy who pumped petrol in to your Dad’s car when you were just a little kid. We have all seen hundreds of thousands of faces through our lives, so we have an endless supply of characters for our brain to utilize during our dreams.
5. Not Everyone Dreams in Color
A full 12% of sighted people dream exclusively in black and white. The remaining number dream in full color. People also tend to have common themes in dreams, which are situations relating to school, being chased, running slowly/in place, sexual experiences, falling, arriving too late, a person now alive being dead, teeth falling out, flying, failing an examination, or a car accident. It is unknown whether the impact of a dream relating to violence or death is more emotionally charged for a person who dreams in color than one who dreams in black and white. [Source]
4. Dreams are not about what they are about
If you dream about some particular subject it is not often that the dream is about that. Dreams speak in a deeply symbolic language. The unconscious mind tries to compare your dream to something else, which is similar. Its like writing a poem and saying that a group of ants were like machines that never stop. But you would never compare something to itself, for example: “That beautiful sunset was like a beautiful sunset”. So whatever symbol your dream picks on it is most unlikely to be a symbol for itself.
3. Quitters have more vivid dreams
People who have smoked cigarettes for a long time who stop, have reported much more vivid dreams than they would normally experience. Additionally, according to the Journal of Abnormal Psychology: “Among 293 smokers abstinent for between 1 and 4 weeks, 33% reported having at least 1 dream about smoking. In most dreams, subjects caught themselves smoking and felt strong negative emotions, such as panic and guilt. Dreams about smoking were the result of tobacco withdrawal, as 97% of subjects did not have them while smoking, and their occurrence was significantly related to the duration of abstinence. They were rated as more vivid than the usual dreams and were as common as most major tobacco withdrawal symptoms.” [Source]
2. External Stimuli Invade our Dreams
This is called Dream Incorporation and it is the experience that most of us have had where a sound from reality is heard in our dream and incorporated in some way. A similar (though less external) example would be when you are physically thirsty and your mind incorporates that feeling in to your dream. My own experience of this includes repeatedly drinking a large glass of water in the dream which satisfies me, only to find the thirst returning shortly after - this thirst… drink… thirst… loop often recurs until I wake up and have a real drink. The famous painting above (Dream Caused by the Flight of a Bee around a Pomegranate a Second Before Awakening) by Salvador Dali, depicts this concept.
1. You are paralyzed while you sleep
Believe it or not, your body is virtually paralyzed during your sleep - most likely to prevent your body from acting out aspects of your dreams. According to the Wikipedia article on dreaming, “Glands begin to secrete a hormone that helps induce sleep and neurons send signals to the spinal cord which cause the body to relax and later become essentially paralyzed.”
Bonus: Extra Facts
1. When you are snoring, you are not dreaming.
2. Toddlers do not dream about themselves until around the age of 3. From the same age, children typically have many more nightmares than adults do until age 7 or 8.
3. If you are awakened out of REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep, you are more likely to remember your dream in a more vivid way than you would if you woke from a full night sleep.
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| For those that love philosophy and ambiguity... |
| 03.27.08 (12:29 am) [edit] |
For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity....
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
10. Is there another word for synonym?
11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk? (LOVE this one!!)
15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
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| Quote Du Jour |
| 03.27.08 (12:28 am) [edit] |
"Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don't have time."
Tallulah Bankhead
Hmmm. It's Saturday night and I'm home blogging... It doesn't look good. LMAO
But I'm running a fever, I have no voice and my brain is full of snot. What fun would I be anyway right now??? I accidentally took the non-drowsy version cold medicine, so I can't sleep now.
An old bf called me today. He said I sounded "really sexy" with my raspy voice. (I personally think I sound like Bea Arthur right now.) I'm sick as a dog and this cretin is trying for a booty call or phone sex. And why did I quit seeing him? Oh yeah, because he's a selfish horndog that didn't even ask if I was ok - just if I was dating anyone. He's a gem - must elaborate on him later. He has the title of "Worst Kisser in ManKind".
Those of you of the male persuasion - I'm not a hater by any means. You guys crack me up and entertain the hell out of me with the dating/mating game.
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| INTERESTING YET FUNNY |
| 03.25.08 (2:58 am) [edit] |
* You can become an engineer if u study in Engineering college .. U cannot become a president if u study in Presidency College !
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* You can expect a BUS from a BUS stop... You cannot expect a FULL from FULL stop.
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* A mechanical engineer can become a mechanic but a software engineer cannot become a software!
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* You can find keys in Key board but you cannot find mother in mother board.
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* You can study and get any certificates. .. But you cannot get your death certificate
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| Falling In And Out Of Love |
| 03.19.08 (2:57 am) [edit] |
When I say I love you I do
But this with you will not do
I need someone I can lean on
Someone I can count on too
Yes you are there sometimes
For that I am grateful to you
But I need someone there full time
And that you can not do
You told me once you loved me
That I could believe in you
I was there when you needed someone
Where were you when I needed someone, too?
The time has come for me to let go
Never to expect you to care again
People may come and people may go
But my love will never end
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| 21 Tips For Life With a Smile... |
| 03.19.08 (2:53 am) [edit] |
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ONE.
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO.
Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE.
Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR.
When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE.
When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX.
Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN.
Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT.
Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE.
Love ! deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN.
In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN.
Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE.
Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN.
When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN.
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN.
Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN.
When you lose, don't lose the lesson
SEVENTEEN.
Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN.
Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN
When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY.
Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE.
Spend some time alone.
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| A real story |
| 03.17.08 (3:23 am) [edit] |
A guy lost his girlfriend in a train accident.... but the gal's name nowhere appeared in the dead list. This guy grew up n became IT technical architect in his late 20?s, achievement in itself!!.
He hired developers from the whole globe and plan to make a software where he could search for his gf through the web..
Things went as planned...n he found her, after losing millions of dollars and 3 long years!!
It was time to shut down the search operation, when the CEO of Google had a word with this guy n took over this application,
This Software made a whopping 1 billion dollars profit in its first year, which we today know as
ORKUT .
The guy's name is ORKUT BUYUKKOTEN. Yes its named after him only. Today he is paid a hefty sum by Google for the things we do like scrapping. He is expected to b the richest person by 2009.
ORKUT BUYUKKOTEN today has 13 assistants to monitor his scrapbook & 8 to monitor his friends-list. He gets around 20,000 friend-requests a day & about 85,000 scraps!!!
Some other Cool Facts abt this guy:
* He gets $12 from Google when every person registers to this website.
* He also gets $10 when you add somebody as a friend.
* He gets $8 when your friend's friend adds you as a friend & gets $6 if anybody adds you as friend in the resulting chain.
* He gets $5 when you scrap somebody & $4 when somebody scraps you.
* He also gets $200 for each photograph you upload on Orkut.
* He gets $2.5 when you add your friend in the crush-list or in the hot-list.
* He gets $2 when you become somebody's fan.
* He gets $1.5 when somebody else becomes your fan.
* He even gets $1 every time you logout of Orkut.
* He gets $0.5 every time you just change your profile-photograph.
* He also gets $0.5 every time you read your friend's scrap-book & $0.5 every time you view your friend's friend-list.
"Moral of the story?"
LOST U R GIRLFRIEND? U CAN MAKE BILLIONS!!!!
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| the interviewer and the smart boy |
| 03.17.08 (3:16 am) [edit] |
Q How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A . Concrete floors are very hard to crack!
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Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built.
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Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands. (Good one)
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Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find! an elephant with one hand.
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Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs , He sleeps at night.
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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that.
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Q. What looks like half apple ?
A : The other half.
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Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A : Lunch and Dinner.
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Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A : It caused a revolution.
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Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid
ONE EXTRA SHOT
Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question.
Think well before you make up your mind!" The boy thought for a while and said, "my choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.
"What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the DAY sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked,
"Sorry Sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"
Always Keep Smile Because I've never seen a smiling face that was not Beautiful!!!!!
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| LIFE |
| 03.13.08 (10:30 pm) [edit] |
In night while sitting under the moon
i thought wats life
and the answer i got was....
life is all about happines or joy
and sadness or sorrow....
wen we are happy we feel top of the world
wen we look at the clock on the wall
we feel why its running too fast and
want the moment to stop their.....
but
wen we are sad only us in trouble and noone else
wen we look at the clock again on the wall
we feel why its running to slow and
"why only me God???" are the only words left with us
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